How I replanted the bud

[BradParadise]

Hey, everyone. This isn't a story  I share often, but this is how I found my way back to God.

I suffer from mental health diseases such as OCD and Anxiety, which both contribute to insomnia. I'm afraid to go to bed because I'm afraid I won't be able to sleep. It's...rather ridiculous, but it it feeds back into itself. The anxiety keeps me up, so I can't sleep..which causes anxiety. It simply feed back into itself, and you get the picture.

For a along time, I was at..quiet odds with God and his faith, Before that, I was an Atheist (in High School). My rebellious phase was against the one Being who loved me, at all times, despite my multiple failures. I'm deeply ashamed now, but I'm working each day to restrengthen my faith and improve my relationship with God. It's a struggle, but through that struggle I refound the purpose and drive in my life. The reason I live, and the One who gives me the drive I have to do well to others. I regret, from High School, to falling victim to those who preyed on me while I was weak and insecure.

I had, always since graduation (and even during the Senior year) retained a sense of Agnosticism. But, through my conditions and pain, I began to seek out God once again to forgive my sins and to welcome my back into the family I once felt..so..warm in.

The way I described it in my conversation with my girlfriend was that a bud had been planted in my chest, Talking, reading, and discussion of Scripture and God fed and watered the seedling, Each day, I work to strengthen my faith to keep my 'seedling' from wilting.

I apologise for grammar and spelling mistakes. This is being written and sent late at night.

I welcome all questions or concerns that you may have.

 

-Love,

 

Brad

Edited February 7, 2017 by BradParadise

[davida chi]

Wonderful testimony! And this is just the beginning: God will work much better testimonies in your life.

[BradParadise]

19 hours ago, davida chi said:

Wonderful testimony! And this is just the beginning: God will work much better testimonies in your life.

I'm praying so. Mental health issues, OCD and Anxiety, make keeping my 'bud' healthy, but I'm trying my best.

[Michi]

 

8 hours ago, BradParadise said:

I'm praying so. Mental health issues, OCD and Anxiety, make keeping my 'bud' healthy, but I'm trying my best.

This is a wonderful testimony. I will be praying for you. I myself have mental health issues. I have ADHD, ADD, short term memory, anxiety and major depression. You aren't alone on this. 

[MandySCOtt]

Great Testimony  

I sometimes have issues with anxiety so i can see how you feel

I really know that God can help you overcome any obstacle

 

-Mandy  

[davida chi]

On 2/8/2017 at 7:01 AM, BradParadise said:

I'm praying so. Mental health issues, OCD and Anxiety, make keeping my 'bud' healthy, but I'm trying my best.

Sweet heart, I won't tell you that I understand what you're going through - no. But I know Someone who understands,and who is far greater than ANY THING you can ever go through. His name is Jesus, and guess what: you're His property! You are His business!

[BradParadise]

13 hours ago, davida chi said:

Sweet heart, I won't tell you that I understand what you're going through - no. But I know Someone who understands,and who is far greater than ANY THING you can ever go through. His name is Jesus, and guess what: you're His property! You are His business!

I've been slowly turning towards God, but it's...honestly hard. For the longest time, I only depended on myself and my family - mostly myself, however, to deal with my problems. Prayer used to cause me extreme anxiety because of my OCD (trying to make an entire prayer in one breath, making it perfect, ect), but I'm trying to overcome that.

Thank you for your words of wisdom, Davida.

[davida chi]

On 2/8/2017 at 7:01 AM, BradParadise said:

I'm praying so. Mental health issues, OCD and Anxiety, make keeping my 'bud' healthy, but I'm trying my best.

Sweet heart, I won't tell you that I understand what you're going through - no. But I know Someone who understands,and who is far greater than ANY THING you can ever go through. His name is Jesus, and guess what: you're His property.

 

On 2/15/2017 at 7:53 AM, BradParadise said:

I've been slowly turning towards God, but it's...honestly hard. For the longest time, I only depended on myself and my family - mostly myself, however, to deal with my problems. Prayer used to cause me extreme anxiety because of my OCD (trying to make an entire prayer in one breath, making it perfect, ect), but I'm trying to overcome that.

Thank you for your words of wisdom, Davida.

It's really not my words,but what God has shown me from scripture. And concerning the prayer issue, check out Romans 8:26 - 27:

We all, whether we are alright or not;we all do not know what we ought to pray for,but the Spirit helps us to pray by interceding for us. So don't stress yourself, come to God the way you are. That is really what prayer is.

[JohnHoelzeman]

If you need help praying, I suggest just speaking what you feel guilty about. Ask for strength to overcome the temptations that led to that guilt. Once you've done this long enough, and you've actually experienced it all in your life, begin to pray for others. Don't worry about others quite yet. Remove the beam from your own eye, before removing the splinter from someone else's. (If you don't already do this, I mean. Praying has always come easy to me, so it makes it difficult to understand why others don't know how)

[Delores Stariana]

On 7/26/2017 at 9:35 PM, JohnHoelzeman said:

If you need help praying, I suggest just speaking what you feel guilty about. Ask for strength to overcome the temptations that led to that guilt. Once you've done this long enough, and you've actually experienced it all in your life, begin to pray for others. Don't worry about others quite yet. Remove the beam from your own eye, before removing the splinter from someone else's. (If you don't already do this, I mean. Praying has always come easy to me, so it makes it difficult to understand why others don't know how)

I apologize in advance if this offends you. I think you make some good points. However, I feel that your last sentence about prayer coming easily to you is...simply put, conceited sounding. It doesn't sound humble. Please forgive me if I have offended you.