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splishsplashy

Things are only getting worse..

Hi everyone, 

This is my first post on this forum so my apologies if this is in the wrong place. 

I participate in the musicals so most of the people I am around at school are from there. Being in that circle homosexuality is a quite common topic, being a Christian I don't believe that that this is right but I don't really express my opinions because I know I will be ridiculed. Right now this topic is hotter than ever for a reason you might not expect; my boyfriend just broke up with me because he decided he was gay. He is already with a guy and that makes me very uncomfortable and sad seeing as I was just with him and he had been a strong Christian and great guy and now he has just dropped all morals all together (even if disregarding that). Now most of the people I was around are labeling me a homophobe, and it's coming out that almost everyone in my school thinks this and has for a long time. This is very concerning to me, people are even shunning me because I am a Christian now. I would not call myself homophobic, I don't agree with it but I have friends who are and it's not like I would hate anyone who was. I try very hard to be kind to everyone, live by the fruits of the spirit and just be the best person I can be (that was worded weird but you know what I mean, right?) What should I do now? It's hard enough to have this all happening but now add on top of it prom is coming up and those kids I was going in a group with are the ones against me now, plus my ex and his new boyfriend would be going with this group. What should I do about all this? I might not have explained this all very well so if you need anything reexplained I can try to.  

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Calm down, take a deep breath and say:

Jesus, I have no idea of what to do now. Just do what only you know how to do.

And trust Him. You will see every thing sorted out.:)

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Welp, no one ever said the Christian walk would be easy. Your situation is a bit tricky because if you truly believe that homosexuality is a sin then you're kind of stuck. That said, you may want to watch out for behaviors that may be adding to the homophobic label. The thing about Christians who believe homosexuality is a sin is that a lot of them really arn't comfortable being around it. They might unconsciously avoid homosexual couples or people or seem uptight when a guy starts talking about his girlfriend. Now, the problem of course here is that you're in drama so there will be gays. Tough luck. If you want to act and conduct yourself in a way befitting to your beliefs surrounding homosexuality you're just going to come off as being "homophobic". And its not bad, just make sure you arn't doing anything like averting your eyes when gay couple enters, ignoring a gay partner of a friend, or really treating them any different than you would a normal couple in day to day life. They're homosexuals, not aliens. 

That said, no one likes hanging around with their exes in the company of new partners and it's perfectly fine to not want to hang out with your ex and his new boyfriend. Just frame as an "ex" thing and not a "gay" thing. I doubt you'd want to hang out with him and a new female partner either. As for prom, maybe consider reaching outside your group some? If there's another group you kind of know but wern't really considering, maybe that would be a better option for you. 

Homosexuality is THE sticky issue for modern Christian teens and young adults. The hard truth is that outside of Christian circles your views on homosexuality will not be accepted and you're going to have to figure out how to deal with that yourself. Good luck. 

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19 hours ago, Marley said:

Welp, no one ever said the Christian walk would be easy. Your situation is a bit tricky because if you truly believe that homosexuality is a sin then you're kind of stuck. That said, you may want to watch out for behaviors that may be adding to the homophobic label. The thing about Christians who believe homosexuality is a sin is that a lot of them really arn't comfortable being around it. They might unconsciously avoid homosexual couples or people or seem uptight when a guy starts talking about his girlfriend. Now, the problem of course here is that you're in drama so there will be gays. Tough luck. If you want to act and conduct yourself in a way befitting to your beliefs surrounding homosexuality you're just going to come off as being "homophobic". And its not bad, just make sure you arn't doing anything like averting your eyes when gay couple enters, ignoring a gay partner of a friend, or really treating them any different than you would a normal couple in day to day life. They're homosexuals, not aliens. 

That said, no one likes hanging around with their exes in the company of new partners and it's perfectly fine to not want to hang out with your ex and his new boyfriend. Just frame as an "ex" thing and not a "gay" thing. I doubt you'd want to hang out with him and a new female partner either. As for prom, maybe consider reaching outside your group some? If there's another group you kind of know but wern't really considering, maybe that would be a better option for you. 

Homosexuality is THE sticky issue for modern Christian teens and young adults. The hard truth is that outside of Christian circles your views on homosexuality will not be accepted and you're going to have to figure out how to deal with that yourself. Good luck. 

Maybe I didn't quite make it clear when I said it but I don't act different to them, I have quite a few friends who are, one of my best friends is. I still act as if they are any other person because that's how they deserve to be treated. We have to love our neighbors as ourselves even if they don't always live how you see fit, only Jesus is here to judge not us. 

And I do view the ex situation like that, like it's been a month and it hurts he's moved on regardless. I just was speaking on the other right now because that is what I am wanting help with.

I know that not many people agree with me on what I believe, that is why I don't discuss my views with people. I didn't really come here to discuss if I should change my views or just have it be said I won't be accepted. It's been made clear to me that I won't be accepted. I'm mostly trying to ask, how do I deal with the social outcast part of this, how do I keep living when I'm almost afraid to come to school. 

I'm sorry I did not make that clear. 

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No worries. I'm sure you're fine as far as loving your friends equally it's just been my experience that some Christians don't realize when their behaviors around their gay friends is messing up their social ability in that situation. For example, I had a close friend in college who very much loved the few gay people she found herself around but that didn't change the fact that she was visibly uncomfortable whenever they were with their significant others in her presence. I don't know you in real life, so I don't really know if you're unconsciously doing these things or not. It's just something to think about. 

And the social outcast thing is rough, but to a certain extent it comes with the territory of being a Christian. My advice to you would be to try to find a group of like minded peers. A youth group in your area maybe, even if it's not directly your denomination it is often helpful to have a group of people who think the same way. For your existing friends, you can just keep doing what you're doing. Be friendly, talk about things you've always talked about. Prom will likely be awkward but it may still be enjoyable. 

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