Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Unfortunately, I've had a lot of trouble with girls, and it always seems to blow up in my face (not literally, fortunately).. I can't tell if I'm just not attractive enough, I keep pushing people away, I'm not interesting enough, or it's just a run of 'bad luck'... \

What do you people think, and is anyone else experiencing this kind of 'bad luck'?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry your having issues right now with girls.  I have been with the same man since i was 16, so i have no idea on dating other people.  All i can say is never alter who you are for someone else. Just keep being who you are. If it helps my brother is 40 and it took him quite awhile to find the right person, but when he did it was amazing:)     God is good :) 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/1/2017 at 5:32 PM, TinaMae said:

To be honest with you I've never dated anyone, so I don't know what you're going through, but I'm a firm believer that if God wants you with someone, he will put that person in your path. These girls that you've had trouble with clearly aren't the one that God wants you with.

I don't know you, so I can't say whether or not you're interesting, or if you're pushing people away, but what I do know is that if those girls think you're not attractive, then they're not worth it. Those who choose whether or not to enter a relationship based on what the person looks like, are idiots. A relationship that is created solely because a person finds the other attractive rarely lasts. Personally, I'm not going to date a person unless I'm friends with them first.

Sorry if this is sucky advice. It's honestly just my opinion on the matter, but I hope it helps.

Ehhh... physical attraction is a factor in any relationship.  I mean, I get what you're saying about it not being something to BASE the relationship off of, but it has to be there in some way, I'm probably not going to go out with a guy I have no attraction to. There needs to be a least a cute smile, nice eyes, dimples, wonderful beard, something that draws me in.  If a girl isn't attracted to you Sir, she's just not. It doesn't mean you're ugly, just means different people have different tastes.

 You're probably just not totally compatible with the people you initially experience attraction to. It's normal. Keep meeting others. Also, it may do you good to remember that God does call some of us to be single, so I'm not going to lie to you and say she's out there. I'm just saying you've got a better chance of meeting her if you keep making new connections and keep praying. :) 

I've never seriously dated, but this kind of thing keeps happening to me. I see a cutie, get to know him a little and we just don't click. No harm done, move on. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, another problem is 'how good is good enough for you'? Lots of people either set too high an expectation, or way too low, and finding the middle ground can be difficult, sometimes exceedingly so. Then, once you know the person and found a connection, pacing and boundaries are immediately a problem. (Don't want to be cuddling with them the day you meet them likely, and so on).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Sir Will said:

Well, another problem is 'how good is good enough for you'? Lots of people either set too high an expectation, or way too low, and finding the middle ground can be difficult, sometimes exceedingly so. Then, once you know the person and found a connection, pacing and boundaries are immediately a problem. (Don't want to be cuddling with them the day you meet them likely, and so on).

That's pretty typical of teenage girls. They tend to waffle between wanting to be a treated like a queen by a perfect prince charming and "NOTICE ME SENPAI OMG HE LOOKED AT ME FOR 3.2 SECONDS I COUNTED I AM NOT WORTHY OF HIS LOVE BUT I NEED IT."

We females do tend to calm down and have a better grasp on our worth after highschool. If the dating game gets too dramatic, wait it out for a couple years. 

This is why being able to communicate is so important. You both need to set reasonable boundaries early on and if either party can't do that, then things probably won't work out. I'm not sure how pacing works, mind you, but I would assume it goes off of the pre-set boundaries and level of infatuation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, fortunately, I do have a bit of a lover now (we're getting there), and me and her /have/ set specific boundaries. Like, for example, after knowing her for a few weeks, a few days ago she gave me a kiss on the neck, and held hands with me. This week, I may or may not be kissed, and so forth. That doesn't however mean we're gonna cuddle next week, and do naughty things the week after that, but so far this is how the pacing is going. The pacing will slow down quickly, once we get to kissing, and no more than cuddling, since we're both teenagers, and obviously shouldn't be escalating things too quickly. To avoid discomfort, we both outlined what was and wasn't currently acceptable. She said no breasts, no groin, and no butt, which is pretty standard, and I agreed on her boundaries (and respected them). For my own boundaries, they are basically the same, except for the fact I don't have breasts. However, maybe a couple months, or a couple years in, we may change the boundaries and she might say 'okay, breasts are okay now' or 'thighs are okay now' and so on as a relationship develops and it's more stable. However I think it's good to focus on the less physical part of a relationship first, and get physical later. For example, you would begin by doing things together, playing games, drawing together, hobbies basically, that sort of thing. As time goes on and you spend more time and get more comfortable, tension releases and you get more relaxed and accepting of new things with that person.

Anyways, just my rantings and thoughts! (Even though I'm in a relationship now, I won't remove this article, since, well, it has some lovely people making interesting discussions)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bro, check out Corey Wayne on youtube. There's no luck involved, it's just being aware of what works, what doesn't and making dates, growing more confident and experienced.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×