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im always losing friends

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8 replies to this topic

#1
yra1ih

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to get right to the point, i have lost many friends this past year over fights and stupid little things. [**two short stories about how i lost my friends follow, than i get to my point, so please be patient and read everything...THANKS**]

friend one: i have known him for my whole life. we went to church together. families know familes..etc. we hanged out at each others houses, went to summer day camps, all of that lingo. we started to "experiance others things" we started kissing, and doing things that, in gods eyes were wrong. he was using me for his own sexual pleasure, and i didnt have the nerve to stop him. this went on for three years, than he finally broke up with me over another girl. and to make things clear we DID NOT have sex. we just "touched" each other, if that makes sense.
we ended our relationship in 2003, and since than we have been great friends. until a couple of month ago. i have always like him ever since he broke up with him. but over the last few months, i have gotten angry with him, and finding reasons for us NOT to be friends. well, cause of that, we arent friends anymore. its been hard, and he wont give me the time of day anymore.

friend two: i have known since grade 7. we became instant friends. we always had fun together when we hung out. but everything turned 360 when we hit high school. we started getting into fights. my friend was having problems at home, and since she wasnt as christian there was little i could do because she didnt want me to "preach" and her, and religion wasnt her thing. she we fought alot. and after like 4 months, we started to hang out again, but that didnt last long. we found some way to get mad at eachother. this went on for the next three years of high school.
i can understand why i can be friends anymore. ill leave that as that.


ever since i was in "this situation" where i saw that god does work in peoples lives, i have been more accepting of it. ya sure i was a christian and called myself one, but i never walk the walk, or talk the talk. but now i have been praying more, and doing devotions, and living up to the bracelet.. P.U.S.H. i wrote in my blog a couple of days ago and i wrote something like this:

...hate this, that is everyone, being mad at me, and now i like dont have any friends. but what eve. i NEED to move on but how? I probably need to "P.U.S.H." more. to just let God handle it is really all i can do...[/b]



back to the topic now. what do you think that since all means? i keep losing friends. is god trying to tell me something about the friends i pick?
is he trying to draw me near, and the reason im not friends with those people anymore because is that they were in the way of me getting closer to him?
is for right now, i should try to think how him/her is going to bring God closer to me, and if i see that, i should pursue that friendship?

questions/ideas/bible verses..most helpful

#2
tessa_s212

tessa_s212

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The first friend was a jerk that took advantage of you. You have a reason to feel angry with him. And I urge you to continue to not be friends with him. You don't need "friends" like taht.

I think with the last friend example God is trying to teach you to be more accepting of others. To not look for the faults, to forgive quickly and not hold anger or grudges. To agree to disagree.

It is sad that so many people these days just don't knowhow to peacefully get along with others that do not think exactly like they do.
The Voice of Reason

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance it is the illusion of knowledge.
-- Daniel J. Boorstin


#3
Adurospark

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I'm sorry that you're having all this trouble.

This is probably not the answer you were looking for but I think the most important thing for you to do is to try and get closer to God. He forever loves you no matter what. A friendship with Him is the greatest friendship you can ever have. He always wants you close to Him. Sometimes I've put so much faith and trust in others to only have it squashed right before my eyes. But God, He'll never leave you. And He'll never stop talking to you or turn His back on you. You see, a friendship with Jesus is everlasting and eternal, while many of the friendships that we will make throughout our life do not last forever. People move on, while God stays there right beside us the whole way. It's important to know that people aren't perfect, but God is. And you can always rely on Him.

Jesus is our father, friend, and creator and if you put your faith and trust in Him, everything will work out. Just trust Him. He has a plan far greater than any we could ever imagine. It'll all get better, just hang in there. =)
"The noble man makes noble plans, and by noble deeds he stands." -Isaiah 32:8

#4
Harper

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friends may come and go, but god is always there for you... (1 john 2:17... kinda)

the first guy, u sound like u still like him... and maybe u are pushing him away because u cant bear to only be friends with him?? (i could be very wrong... no offense if i am) but, maybe it is for the best, it lets you reassess your life, and your relationships...

i kinda agree with tessa, your second friend could be a learning point... but friends do drift apart... its kinda natural... cos having a friend takes work and sacrifice... not in a bad way though...

good luck... and may God bless your other friendships, and may they blossom into closer relationships which draw you closer to god.

Harper

#5
hisheep

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i think that situations are different for everyone. but here is my two cents. when i was in middle school i had sortof the same thing going. i lost a bunch of really close friends over stupid stuff. i realize now what i didn't realize then. i had become so dependent on my friends that i wasn't paying any attention to God anymore. i think he made us fight and stop being friends because he wanted to remind me to trust him and not rely on other people to define who i am. after refinding my faith in God ((which at the time i didn't even know i had lost)) my friends and i were able to repair our severely damaged friendship. that's probably not helpful to you at all. i guess maybe a good point is that you may not understand it now, and maybe you never ever will, but i'm positive that God has a plan for this pain in your life.

"'For i know the plans i have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Not plans to harm you, but plans to give you a hope and a future.'"
... that is definitely a Bible verse... if i could just remember where it was....
Matthew 18:10
"See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For i tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven."

#6
colfax149

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don't feel so bad about that..let's move on...like you I'm losing my friends too...I don't know why..I treated them nicely,I'm VERY SUPPORTIVE TO THEM..BUT still they forsake me..

There is only one bestest friend whom I can count on and that is JESUS

#7
Amberly

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Friends are a precious thing, and it's hard when you're going through all those changes that come along with being a teenager, going to highschool, teachers, works, parents, all that. Friends change during that time just like you are. You're probably a very different person now than you were back in 2003. You're growing, and that's good! And friends grow too, and not always in the same direction. It's hard, another thing to deal with along with everything else, but I think you've gotten some good advice so far. Trust in God, be sure to continue cultivating that eternal friendship, and all else will come. Perhaps not easily, but it will be bearable. It's not a fun time for anyone, and I think we all go through it to some degree.

One thing you might consider is finding an older person, college student perhaps, someone along those lines, who is a mature Christian. A mentor is a solid rock to help steady yourself with, and an earthly person to take your cares to about this issue. They'll be able to give you some comfort and support, and it'll mean a lot with their physical being there. It's also a friendship of it's own. Something to think about.

Best wishes. :)
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#8
achenry95

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to get right to the point, i have lost many friends this past year over fights and stupid little things. [**two short stories about how i lost my friends follow, than i get to my point, so please be patient and read everything...THANKS**]

friend one: i have known him for my whole life. we went to church together. families know familes..etc. we hanged out at each others houses, went to summer day camps, all of that lingo. we started to "experiance others things" we started kissing, and doing things that, in gods eyes were wrong. he was using me for his own sexual pleasure, and i didnt have the nerve to stop him. this went on for three years, than he finally broke up with me over another girl. and to make things clear we DID NOT have sex. we just "touched" each other, if that makes sense.
we ended our relationship in 2003, and since than we have been great friends. until a couple of month ago. i have always like him ever since he broke up with him. but over the last few months, i have gotten angry with him, and finding reasons for us NOT to be friends. well, cause of that, we arent friends anymore. its been hard, and he wont give me the time of day anymore.

friend two: i have known since grade 7. we became instant friends. we always had fun together when we hung out. but everything turned 360 when we hit high school. we started getting into fights. my friend was having problems at home, and since she wasnt as christian there was little i could do because she didnt want me to "preach" and her, and religion wasnt her thing. she we fought alot. and after like 4 months, we started to hang out again, but that didnt last long. we found some way to get mad at eachother. this went on for the next three years of high school.
i can understand why i can be friends anymore. ill leave that as that.
ever since i was in "this situation" where i saw that god does work in peoples lives, i have been more accepting of it. ya sure i was a christian and called myself one, but i never walk the walk, or talk the talk. but now i have been praying more, and doing devotions, and living up to the bracelet.. P.U.S.H. i wrote in my blog a couple of days ago and i wrote something like this:

back to the topic now. what do you think that since all means? i keep losing friends. is god trying to tell me something about the friends i pick?
is he trying to draw me near, and the reason im not friends with those people anymore because is that they were in the way of me getting closer to him?
is for right now, i should try to think how him/her is going to bring God closer to me, and if i see that, i should pursue that friendship?

questions/ideas/bible verses..most helpful[/b]






First thing i want to say is when you were telling your second friend story you said "she is not into religion"Well Jesus is not religion he is relationship.What i would do about you losing friends is.....well I'm not really sure but i would invite them to church.Like every sunday i pick up about 3 or for kids and bring them to church with me.At first they say i don't want to go and they hate church and all of that stuff and well i just kept talking about to them and eventually i talked them into it and ever since then they have been coming to church with me which was about a year ago.Now when ever we get into fights its not as bad as it use to be because now that me and them are closer to God we know what to do and we pray and try to do as Jesus would.And pretty much what i think you losing friends means is that they are bringing you further away from God and just are not the right one for you so yea i would just try to get them to church with you.I am not sure if i helped you or not but i hope this did!
Alisha Henry

#9
NathanLG

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I've learned this: expect nothing out of people and great things out of God. Also, don't worry about trying to be perfect, it's not about perfection-we've all sinned, as you know; all that matters is you believe in Christ and have a relationship with God. "Religion" won't change anything, accept for in a bad way, but Jesus Christ is where a good change begins to come about.

By the way, here are some verses about friendship..
Proverbs 27:6
Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

a 'fake' friend will only say things to cover up what they really feel; a 'true' friend will rebuke you when you are doing something they know you should'nt and help get you back on the rite track.

Read more Proverbs for more about friendship. =]
"If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it wants to master you, but you must master it." - Genesis 4:7




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