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Please, help. I long for the Lord, but I do not feel him!

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9 replies to this topic

#1
julie13

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Hi, everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read this. This is my first post, and I apologize if I've posted in the wrong area.

I'm a christian. Raised baptist, but I'm currently non-denominational. I've been going to church on and off since I was a little girl, with a very large lapse until last year, when I found a great church! And, even then, I stilll don't go every sunday. :/

I long for a relationship with Jesus. I want him in my life more than absolutely anything. I want to love him, and have him in my life every day. But, I don't feel him like so many other christians I know say they do. I just....get nothing. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I pray every single night, I ask for he and I to have a relationship. The first thing I did when I joined my new church was asked about being baptised, and I was baptised february 2011. I buy christian support books (ie: crazy love, the me I want to be, etc), I write to him in a journal, I listen to christian songs, I read my bible. I just don't know what I can do to feel him or hear him or whatever it is I'm supposed to feel! I just feel so lost. I long to have a personal relationship with Jesus, but I feel like I'm doing something wrong. My Christian friends are always like "God is truly changing my heart out here", "So blessed for God's love today", "So awesome to see God changing the hearts of so many at camp." But I don't feel any of that stuff!

I'm sorry if this is confusing. I just feel so lost and I have no clue who to turn to besides this forum. I guess, in a nutshell, I'm trying really hard to have a relationship with Jesus, but I don't feel or hear him, so I feel like I don't have a relationship with him.

Ugh, Hopefully someone can help me :/

#2
dkkev

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I long for a relationship with Jesus. I want him in my life more than absolutely anything. I want to love him, and have him in my life every day.

From your post, it does appear that you are seeking Him. But how hard? Do you, as Psalm 1 states: meditate on the Scriptures day and night?

As a Christian myself, I would certainly be able to say: I want to love Christ more. I want more of Him throughout the daily routine of life. And indeed, I would be willing to say that my love for Him is absolutely pitiful in comparison to His great love. I guess what I'm trying to say is this: do you love Him at all? Because if you don't love Him, then you are certainly in dangerous territory. But if you do love Him, but just want your love for Him to increase (because you see how pitiful your love for Him can be at times) then you are probably in a good place.

I would recommend reading through the book of 1 John a couple times, as it tends to be helpful it matters like this.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I pray every single night, I ask for he and I to have a relationship. The first thing I did when I joined my new church was asked about being baptised, and I was baptised february 2011. I buy christian support books (ie: crazy love, the me I want to be, etc), I write to him in a journal, I listen to christian songs, I read my bible.

Know that while good works are certainly... well, good. They ultimately cannot bring anyone into a right standing with God. Salvation is a gift; it cannot be earned. It is, at times, very easy to deceive yourself or the people around you. You can read Scripture in order to know God more and be able to humbly teach others-- or you can read Scripture in order to know more and impress others with your knowledge. Ultimately, it all comes back to your motive-- why you do what you do.

Is Jesus precious to you? Are you sorrowful/do you weep when you see your great wickedness? And then when you see that great wickedness, do you run to Christ? Do you set your gaze upon the cross where Christ bore the wrath of God that you justly deserve? You cannot trust in your own works, you have to trust in Christ-- and Him alone.

I just don't know what I can do to feel him or hear him or whatever it is I'm supposed to feel!

Perhaps, in a sense, your expectations are not realistic. I can see God working in my life, and communing with Him is just... awesome. But if you're expecting to hear Him speak in an audible voice-- it probably isn't going to happen unless the events in Revelation come to fulfillment in our lifetime. Plus, God doesn't need to speak to us in an audible voice. He has spoken clearly through the Scriptures.

I just feel so lost. I long to have a personal relationship with Jesus, but I feel like I'm doing something wrong. My Christian friends are always like "God is truly changing my heart out here", "So blessed for God's love today", "So awesome to see God changing the hearts of so many at camp." But I don't feel any of that stuff!

Understand that sometimes people can unintentionally speak of their experiences as being better than they are. Also know that God does not change a Christian and make him perfect overnight. Sanctification (growing in holiness) is a process. Sometimes Christians shrink in holiness, and sometimes Christians grow in holiness-- but if you look at the big picture, the Christian in the long term is on an upward climb... it can certainly be a very bumpy climb, but ultimately it is an upward climb.

I'm sorry if this is confusing. I just feel so lost and I have no clue who to turn to besides this forum. I guess, in a nutshell, I'm trying really hard to have a relationship with Jesus, but I don't feel or hear him, so I feel like I don't have a relationship with him.

I hope I have been of some help. Everything I wrote might not be fully applicable for your situation, but I had to keep it broad since I don't know much about your situation, either way hopefully something in there was ultimately helpful.

#3
opalecent

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I kinda know how you feel. I've always felt like that, to a point, because I love God and I know He loves me, but I don't always feel Him working in my life. He doesn't always show up in visible ways, and if you're always looking for a spiritual high, that's a bit unrealistic. But it is nonetheless fair to long for God to be active in your life.

An AMAZING book for people who are struggling to have an emotional connection with God is Hunger: Satisfying the Longing of your Soul by Jon Dybdahl, I just read it and it seems to be speaking to a lot of what you're longing for. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT.
http://www.amazon.co...l/dp/0812704584

Another thought from my boss / campus chaplain:

Recently I read Brennan Manning's, "The Furious Longing of
God. One comment he made in it is
that if he had to live his life over again he wouldn't spend one more
minute worrying about his spiritual growth. He says that for most of
his life that was his focus, his worry, and it wasn't productive.
Swimming in the love of God and realizing that God's greatest desire
is you, was much better for his spiritual growth. Sit with that some
this next week. And if you are intrigued by the book, it's a quick
read.


So that may be another book that might help.

One thing that may work is realizing that sometimes we all go through "wilderness" experiences. Sometimes we feel distant from God, but that doesn't mean He's not there. I'm sure you've read "footprints in the sand" but I will put it here.. it is inspirational :)

Posted Image

Also, try reading Psalms. Instead of reading a lot (quantity) try reading a little, but meditate on it and think about it (quality). Read one psalm, then reread it, pick out a verse or phrase that stands out to you, and contemplate it, try to memorize it. Repeat it to yourself throughout the day. Try to relate it to things that are happening.

Finally, I ran across this thingy called the "game of minutes." Here is a link to a PDF:
http://hockleys.org/...ith_Minutes.pdf

I hope that at least one of these resources helps you :) God bless, you'll be in my prayers :)

Love is a friendship set to music. ~Eli Joseph Cossman
CTF Daughter to teh awesome Foofer and Kirsty!
~~Icexist has my ♥ - right after Jesus~~
*insert something clever here* < That's your signature tag (: Enjoy! ~Haley<3


#4
julia13

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Yes, of course I love him! I wasn't implying that I didn't love him..I guess it's just how I worded it. And I know that reading books, and listening to music and such won't bring me into right standing, I do those things to help me in my relationship with him, and for myself. I'm not expecting a voice or the sky to crack open and reveal the heavens, I just guess I thought I was just supposed to feel something, perhaps my expectations of that were unrealistic...I just want to be so close with him, and I don't know if I'm pursuing a relationship the right way.

Thank you both so much for your help and advice, I truly appreciate it.

#5
Sacracan

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Listening to "christian" music? Ha! Going to church? Not much. Reading the Bible? Decent. Praying? Might be something good.

But how about dying to your own desires? How about saying "no" to anything that wouldn't give God glory? Think about this, I know I am, and remember that true christianity is the hardest thing you can get into in this life.
Oh noes.

#6
*cassie*

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Ive been in your shoes plenty of times. Still am. The best advice I can give..is to just keep pursuing him. Honestly. I feel waay fake most of the time because ive grown up in the church and have always 'said" I believed in God. Im sure deep down I do, I just havent found that " BAM hes real" moment yet. Im sure when I do i'll know it. I know it can be hard doing things the way youve been taugth to do them and feeling like you dont have anything with God, but just keep telling yourself that hes there. I think so often that the thing is, hes not going to just be like.."Heeeey wasssupp girl you need to change this in your life" Gods relationship with you is you knowing that he is there and aknowledge that you love him unconditionally. His relationship with you, is putting thoughts in your head of, MAN I love this dude so much I want to love the world BECAUSE of him" That is your relationship with God. ( I should take my own advice ha) I hope this helps. I do struggle a lot with stuff, sometimes people who struggle together help each other out lots. SO feel free to pm me =)
I haven't mastered how to make a sig enough to get a " oh my gosh YOUR SIG IS SO AWESOME" yet. I just got the "too big for the maximum allowed on CTF but its cute for your first time" comments :)

#7
swampfox

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Hi, everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read this. This is my first post, and I apologize if I've posted in the wrong area.

I'm a christian. Raised baptist, but I'm currently non-denominational. I've been going to church on and off since I was a little girl, with a very large lapse until last year, when I found a great church! And, even then, I stilll don't go every sunday. :/

I long for a relationship with Jesus. I want him in my life more than absolutely anything. I want to love him, and have him in my life every day. But, I don't feel him like so many other christians I know say they do. I just....get nothing. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I pray every single night, I ask for he and I to have a relationship. The first thing I did when I joined my new church was asked about being baptised, and I was baptised february 2011. I buy christian support books (ie: crazy love, the me I want to be, etc), I write to him in a journal, I listen to christian songs, I read my bible. I just don't know what I can do to feel him or hear him or whatever it is I'm supposed to feel! I just feel so lost. I long to have a personal relationship with Jesus, but I feel like I'm doing something wrong. My Christian friends are always like "God is truly changing my heart out here", "So blessed for God's love today", "So awesome to see God changing the hearts of so many at camp." But I don't feel any of that stuff!

I'm sorry if this is confusing. I just feel so lost and I have no clue who to turn to besides this forum. I guess, in a nutshell, I'm trying really hard to have a relationship with Jesus, but I don't feel or hear him, so I feel like I don't have a relationship with him.

Ugh, Hopefully someone can help me :/


Jesus said even with a mustard seed of faith we can move mountains. You have that mustard seed if you are seeking for Him. You won't always 'feel' Him, but you will learn to trust in God and rest in His presence. A great way to experience Him is meditating. Look up a devotional called "the Message Solo," or "Jesus CAlling" I use these devotionals and they are great. Pray and mediate on His word, dont' do all the talking. Make sure to worship Him, not looking for a feeling but just by showing Him love and thanks
Jesusfreak91 and I are CTF's resident Civil War Reenactor Freaks. I have many interests. Help poor people on Facebook by looking up free clicks for charity groups. Yeah thats it. Oh yeah, Phillipians 4:6.

#8
saintsasha

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Girly, I'm praying for you! <3 I have definitely had those times where I just feel like I get nothing, but know that God is always here for you.
I truly suggest that you go and talk with your paster, an elder, a youth paster - even your mom or dad.
To be completely honest with you, I am horrible at expressing my feelings. I just bottle everything up! It's to the point where now I have constant anxiety because of
these emotions I've been keeping hidden.
God has allowed something horrible to happen in my life and my family's life, and now I'm in counseling. It's almost like this is where the good is coming out of the bad, because
I'm talking to this counseler about everything in my life and how I'm feeling. I'm still pretty down in the dumps, but I just know God has a plan, you know?

Sistah, don't lose hope. God wants this personal relationship more than you do! : ) Again, I really encourage you to talk to your paster. And definitely meditate on His word.
(Meaning think deeply. ;P) If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you, Hun! Jesus loves you<3

Muahaha! I'm a new member... be afraid. >:]
But seriously though, I'm Sasha. Hewwo. xD Hope to make a bunch of friends here!
Love you, my brothas and sistahs. ; DD

Jesus saves!
tell your friends. ;o


#9
USMC Psych

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I tried to place this in a life experience point of view from me... But it seemed like I was rambling on. So I will say this: PLace in him the trust and faith that soldiers and warriors have for the man protecting your back.
"Before God we are all equally wise, and eqaully foolish." ~ Albert Einstein

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

"Ethical axioms are found and tested not very differently from the axioms of science. Truth is what stands the test of experience." ~Albert Einstein


#10
nomerhunks

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My advise for you is to keep on pursuing him, pray sincerely and with all heart, give your all to HIM and thank HIM for everything that he did for you. Forgetting your own desires and doing good things to pepole around you is a one step ahead. Always believe in HIM and never doubt HIM. God bless and hope you feel HIM soon.




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