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I Cheated on my GF and i feel horrible :(
Posted 12 September 2011 - 03:11 AM
Posted 14 September 2011 - 04:02 PM
Either way, she needs to know or the guilt will effect your relationship anyways.
Posted 14 September 2011 - 07:11 PM
So heres your cheat sheet:
Note: All this is assuming you want to continue the relationship. If you've cheated, you may want to reevaluate if this is where you need to be right now.
1. Tell your girlfriend. Pick a private time to say it and say it face to face (no facebook, text, etc... trust me, it just makes you seem like a wimp.) Tell her what she needs to know and then let it drop. She may wan't details but she doesn't need them (this sounds weird, but its true, it just give her more to ruminate on) just give her what she needs to know without making it less or more than it was.
2. If you want your relationship with your current GF to continue, you need to cut ties with whoever you were talking with on facebook. Let the other person know that you need to be left alone (tactfully) and then break contact.
3. Expect her to be mad and upset. If she wants to take a break from the relationship for a while let her. If she wants you to grovel a bit, do it. You have to decide how much this is worth to you. BE SINCERLY SORRY. But! Don't let her walk all over you either. Don't get me wrong, you are in the wrong here BUT you letting her use you as an emotinal punching bag won't help either of you. Stay calm, stay humble and don't get defensive. She's hurt. Its your fault. Accept it.
4. Ask her forgiveness, but don't force it. Say the words 'I hope you can forgive me.'
5. Work to move past this. Whether or not that means with the relationship. Everyone messes up, and as you've already said God has forgiven you.
I'll be praying for you, and look if you ever want to talk about this, know that I'm coming from the perspective of a girl who was cheated on by a great christian guy who fessed up two days later. I've asked myself several times whether I would have liked better not to know. And I'm still glad he told me.
GO SPURS GO!
Happily Married to the Wonderful TJB_GoingIntoBattle
Mother of T.O.W.R. and Guitarman
and possibly a few more I'm forgetting
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And John (Wesker) is my CTF Gal-Pal
Posted 14 September 2011 - 07:23 PM
Posted 14 September 2011 - 10:43 PM
but whats weird is that now (idk if its my anxiety, God or the devil) telling me to tell her EVERYTHING like how many times i cheated, or that i wanted to lead our conversation today into telling her that i cheated. and its gotten worse, i reflected on all the lies i've told period! do i have to go and tell EVERYONE that i lied to them, even though its like days and weeks old?
Posted 15 September 2011 - 06:04 PM
I guess it could be God putting it on your heart to come clean. It's always good to confess your sins, and apologize. I'd pray about it and then maybe confide in your girlfriend exactly what's making you feel so guilty.
Honestly I don't know if the guilt will go away completely, because you did something wrong and it hurt someone you love, but talking to her might help.
Maybe talking to a youth leader or leader at your church, they're there to help you out and spread wisdom around. Might want to get their input.
Posted 16 September 2011 - 03:20 AM
ya just be onist.
:taz:ME TAZMANIAN DEVIL:taz:
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Posted 23 September 2011 - 04:23 AM
If anything, use this as a learning experience, whether she stays with you or not. Just remember that's out of your hand. Don't try to push it, because then she will think you're only trying to get attention. And if deep down you think you are doing this for attention, (I'm not saying you are, but it doesn't hurt to be real with yourself), you might want to evaluate why you're in the relationship in the first place.
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