Lately I've been posting a lot about the guy I used to like and I'm not so sure if I do anymore, Andrew. I found out today that he was going out with this one girl. I don't have any problems with the girl. She's pretty and sweet. But I know that Andrew, for one, isn't allowed to date, and two made a promise before God not to date. I'm not talking about a purity ring, but no dating. Until college. I was there with him and I made the promise too. I know he's free to like whoever he wants, hormones can't be stopped after all. But he won't talk to me anymore. I feel horrible, losing a friend that way. You know that part in Harry Potter 6 when Ron and Lavender are going out and Hermoine is in a classroom by herself crying? I'm Hermoine in that picture. Not only did I lose my friend, I lost my crush.

But that isn't even the worst part. Some other girls were talking about how he was leading on this other girl, totally not his gf. And then I realized. He led me on! And I realized that there were probably 3 other girls in this situation. He led them on, and then he started going out with this one girl, breaking about 5 hearts at once. Now I see him for what he really is... a player. And it hurts soooo soooo sooooo bad to know this. Even worse than feeling like Hermoine up there, because now I feel sorry for him too.

Was he ever really my friend, or was he the bad guy all along? Please help.

... harry potter?

yus. idk. I was really upset when I wrote this.

Sorry to say, but he was probably just playing you. From a guys perspective, it sounds like he only made that promise with you because he thought you would like it and it would be a way to get with you. Even worse is that you will probably come across multiple people like this in your life. You should view this as a learning experience (easier said than done), because I can almost guarantee this will happen again to you. Sorry if I sound negative but the truth is most guys are like this, they will say and do whatever you want them to just to get with you.

Thank you. I would rather hear the truth than be constantly lied to, even if the truth hurts.

This doesn't mean that everyone is like this of course. There are many people who really just want to be with you for you and not just for sexual reasons.

He definitely told you he wasn't going to date because he thought it would make you want him more.

So I'm at Bible college and I can count five girls that made that "pledge" not to date, and are all chasing after guys. For some reason, people seem to think that makes them more appealing.

I'm not knocking the committment itself- I think that's great. Noble. It's when people make it with NO INTENTION of keeping it that I can't stand.

I'm sorry girl, maybe he'll come around

UPDATE: After reading the responses on this post, I was really depressed for a few days. But I finally accepted the fact that he is a liar and a deciever, and I shouldn't trust him anymore.

But then I went to youth group last night, and he was there. I just started going to youth group and I had no clue that he was going to be there too. But he was so excited to see me, he gave me a hug (and now I'm beating myself up for letting him hug me). And we hung out the whole time. (I posted my testimony online on the school website a few days earlier) and he said he read it, and he said that I am awesome and I shouldn't let anyone tell me otherwise.

What am I supposed to do about this?? I don't know if I can believe him when he says I'm his best friend (thats a girl), but I've told him many times that he's my best friend. I don't know if he's my friend at all. I know I shouldn't trust him when it comes to dating, but does this apply to friendship too?

I really just want my friend back.

This post has been edited by sparkkster: Nov 9 2009, 06:16 PM