Marriage

[~!*Kala*!~]

Ok so Im 16 and my boyfriend is 18 and I are both Christians. I am a new Christian but he has been one his whole life, he was raised in a Christian household. So anyways, I am in love with him (not this puppy love stuff!) and i know that my love for him is the real deal. He has told me over and over againt that he feels the same way and that he can't wait for me to be 18 so we can legally get married. Most of my friends ive told (who arent Christians) believe that we only want to get married so we can make love. But that is so very untrue! I could happily live my whole life with him without ever having sex (although i want children) and even if we could get married right now i would not have sex with him.
And sadly my mom would kill my if i even asked to get married and for her blessing and consent and my father has been out of the picture almost all my life. So what im asking is what is your opinion on the fact that my boyfriend and I want so desperately to get married and if i could find a place that allows marriage at the age of 16 without parent consent, what do you think about that. Would it be wrong?

[OhhSnapStephanie]

Don't lie to your parents, it will only cause a huge issue with you guys. When you first get married, you will need your family's blessing and support, so make sure not to lie to them about it.
Also, don't rush getting married. As much as it seems as if you HAVE to do it now, you have plenty of time. Even if you have to wait the 2 years, they will fly by, you won't have to lie, and you and your boyfriend can get a lot closer.

[Pointer]

I agree totally with Steph on this one. You both might be very ready to be married now, but you'll benefit exceedingly by gaining the support of yours and his family. If you create a communication gap now with your mom you'll likely regret it for the rest of your life. This guy is important and your relationship with him is important, but you will feel stress and burden in a marriage that doesn't bare consent and support from your mom. You need to seriously consider waiting a few years. 18 is a good time to being thinking about marriage seriously and working on your mom. But be cautious to take things slow. Taking your time will not hurt your relationship with each other at all. It will only strengthen and mature you both together with God.

Another aspect to consider is support from God himself. Make sure you pray with each other and apart to truly seek God's will in your relationship. Trust me, I know from very personal experiences how hard it is to wait on God, but in the end, doing so will make you the happiest couple.

[Stevo]

getting married doesnt change much besides moving our and having sex. being 16, i doubt youd move out or have sex (pedo lulz), so i dont really see the point. would anything really change?

[my_Keeper]

getting married doesnt change much besides moving our and having sex. being 16, i doubt youd move out or have sex (pedo lulz), so i dont really see the point. would anything really change?[/b]

And that just made a ton of sense. Thanks for all that wisdom.

[horsesforlife]

I can relate to feeling that way about someone, but I must ask, why the rush? If you both know that you want to get married for sure, then why not wait a few years?
Don't do it behind your parents back, that's probably the best advice I can give you.
If you do that, they will be very sad, trust me, it's every mother's dream to help her daughter plan her wedding.
Plus, 16 is just way too young to be getting married. Even 18 is really young in my opinion.
So, if you ask me, wait it out. If you two are really in love, then you'll be able to wait a few years to get married.

[tessa_s212]

You should not get married. You are still a child. There is no need to rush into marriage. Friendship is the strong foundation of any marriage. Grow in your friendship for now.

My husband and I knew very shortly into our relationship that we'd be married. We were both already feeling as though we shoudl be married to each other even BEFORE we began dating. But we waited until we were both out of highschool, mature adults, supporting ourselves, and in college(he was 20, I was 19). To me, getting married while in highschool is insanity. If your mother is still supporting you, you have no business getting married.

If you are soo sure you'll be married some day, there's no need to rush. You know. That kind of security in a relationship means sooooo much more than a peice of paper. Hubby and I knew we'd be married. So as long as we were together, we didn't worry about marriage. Yes, we wanted to beable to share a name, but we were patient and waited for the right time. And it was perfect.

Why would you want your family to miss your wedding? I had a very small courthouse wedding, but it was soo nice and comforting to have family there. And my mother was soo proud to see me married. Please don't let your mother miss out on that.

Remember, waiting for something and being patient often makes it sooo much more worth it.

[rokcndy]

"Love is patient"

Compare the thought of asking your parents if you can get married NOW with the thought of asking them if you can get married when you're at least 18, or preferrably out of college (so you have no distractions from your studies).

it probably sounds like you have a better chance of convincing them later, right?

and what's the rush? if you love each other, that's all that matters. You don't HAVE to be married right away, because you have your whole lives ahead of you, together ^ ^

I also think running away from your parents to be with a guy is every parents' nightmare. i would avoid it at all costs.

[PeterM]

Honestly. You are both so young and have so much more to experience in your lives before you really know the person you are. You are still in high school and he is barely off to college if hes there yet. College is one of those big events in your life that can really change the person you are, not necessarily a bad change but still. You need more life experience.If you dont feel the need to have sex then is there a reason for marriage right now (that would be a horrible reason) If you can be dedicated to each other than you can wait.