Jade1612

I didn't mention this before, but my boyfriend was raised with catholic beliefs - sort of. His father comes from a catholic family and his grandfather especially is quite a devout Catholic, he also went to a catholic primary school, so he already knew some of the basics (i.e. Christmas and Easter) and believed in God to an extent. So I've never really had to have had to have the "God is real" conversation with him As I mentioned before, his main problem is with accepting God's authority and His right to decide what is morally right and wrong. He has always been fiercely independent and is also quite reluctant to change. I have tried to talk to him about it, but he, while respecting that my morals and faith are intertwined, is still adamant that people should get to decide for themselves. He also struggles to accept that you have to be saved to go to heaven. This has to do with his family, particularly his younger brothers. Most of his family members are not Christian and he doesn't want to accept that this means that they can't go to heaven. He at one point even suggested that if his brothers can't go to heaven then he didn't want to go either (because nothing says family bonding like all being damned to hell together...) - essentially what this boils down to is that he is very family orientated and doesn't like the idea that they won't go to heaven unless they get saved, which at this stage is looking unlikely as they don't seem too receptive to it, but I can't say for sure because I honestly don't know them that well - they tend to clear off when I come over. And although he hasn't said as much, I also believe that he is scared of being judged by his non-Christian family members if he decides to accept Jesus. Basically, he likes to cherry pick - he is only willing to accept the aspects of Christianity that fit in well with what he already believes and is reluctant to change anything else. This is not helped by my school. We go to an Anglican high school where we are required to attend one "Christian Studies" lesson each week. I use this term loosely because our teacher is also a cherry picker. Even more so than my boyfriend is. I often leave these lessons wondering what kind of bible my teacher reads, because it appears to be very different from any I've ever read. I usually spend the following lunch period texting my mum and ranting about my teacher and his ... interesting... opinions of Christianity. Mum often responds with James 3:1 and Matthew 12:36 Does anyone have any advice on how to respond to these issues in particular?

Thank you for your reply, what you said has really helped me. I am willing to wait if that's what it will take for him to receive his salvation - I really do believe that this relationship could work out if that happens

Long story, sorry I was raised in a Christian home my whole life. I gave my life to Jesus when I was about 5 years old (I don't remember exactly when but I do remember sitting with my mum on her bed as we prayed together) and I was baptised when I was 13. Unlike most girls I was friends with, I wasn't interested in boys. Ever. My mum, while not forbidding me from dating, had very firmly told me that in her opinion high school dating was pointless as the purpose of dating is to prepare you for marriage, but she insisted that what I did was up to me. I, being the good little Christian daughter, wholeheartedly believed that she was right and used to insist that I wouldn't date until after high school. When I was in year 9 I started to become friends with a boy in my year. He was the first real non-female friend I'd ever had. In year 10 we had the same base class (meaning we were essentially in every class together). We also caught the same bus in the afternoons. We very quickly became best friends. And I naively believed that was all it was. Half way through year 11, around the time of my 16th birthday, I realised the horrible, wonderful truth - I really, really liked this boy. As more than a friend. I tried to ignore my feelings for about a term. I told my best (girl) friend and no one else, not even my mum. This was the first crush I'd ever had and I did not to how to deal with or respond to these strange new feelings. Then, in the last week of year 11, he asked me out. And I said yes. Standing at the end of my driveway, butterflies in my stomach and heart pounding in my ears my first crush became my first boyfriend and I, quite stupidly and naively in hindsight, said yes to him and didn't consider the consequences. The consequences, of course, stemmed from the fact that this handsome, kind and incredibly sweet boy was not a Christian. I stupidly said yes to him and yes to my own human emotions and desires and didn't consider what God would want until afterwards. I soon realised that dating someone with different beliefs could be very problematic. Over the course of our relationship we have had many in depth discussions about our beliefs. I have taken him to youth group and church and have even given him a bible. He has always been willing to talk to me about these things and we have often stayed up late at night as I attempt to answer his many questions about God and Christianity and the bible to the best of my ability with as much patience as possible (he tends to go in circles with his questions at times). While I did not enter this relationship under the impression that I could, should or would change him, I am realising more and more that if this relationship is going to work, he will need to become a Christian. But of course, he doesn't realise or understand that. Believe me, I know how these kind of relationships typically end. This Sunday will be our one year anniversary. And my stupidly stubborn and at times incredibly frustrating boyfriend, who I love, is still not a Christian anymore then he was a year ago. His main problem with God is that, like many in this world, he is struggling to accept God's authority. He struggles to understand why God should get to dictate right and wrong and why we should listen to Him on these matters - shouldn't we just get to decide for ourselves and do what we want so long as we don't hurt others? I know that I can't change his beliefs, but I have tried to sow God's seed in him, and I know that's all I can really do. But he is a stubborn and fiercely independent young man and he doesn't like the idea of someone or something else telling him what he can and can't do (although I have explained the concept of free will to him in great detail complete with scriptural references) I love this boy, and I know he loves me. But I know that unless something changes this relationship won't work. I also know that I cannot change my beliefs. Although I have not shown it well in the past, my relationship with God means more to me than my relationship with any human being. I guess what I'm trying to ask in this incredibly long winded post is, what should I do? How do I help my boyfriend see the light, so to speak? And if he still can't accept Jesus - where do I go from there?