Clothing Question

[General_Stingray]

This will seem like a kinda dumb question, but here goes anyways:

 

My girlfriend of, oh, almost 2 years is visiting me this Summer. We're in a long-distance relationship (California and N. Carolina).

We were planning on going to the beach together with some other of our mutual friends. Problem: She wears (always has) a bikini. Now personally, I don't have a huge issue with that, but many of our mutual friends come from very Conservative homes where bikinis are no-nos. What do I do? Do I ask my girlfriend to not wear the bikini? Or do I tell our other friends that, "well, this is the way it is and there's nothing I can do about it"? Is there anything from the Bible that might help her understand my friend's views? 

Edited May 11, 2016 by General_Stingray

[Delores Stariana]

I Timothy 2:9- In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

 

That's the Bible verse I found.

 

Now, about the main part of the question...well, I come from an extremely conservative home...so my suggestion is, just ask her not too. Explain that it might make some of your friends uncomfortable and just see what her reaction is and how it goes.

 

I don't know if any of this helps, but anyway.

Edited May 10, 2016 by Delores Stariana

[Bryce B.]

Do what God would do. Also, I know how those LDR's are. I'm in one myself as well. I'm in USA Michigan, she's in Sydney Australia. I'm visiting her next summer(2017) and she's visiting me with her entire family at the end of 2017. Message me if ya want haha

[T.O.W.R.]

I would just ask her. Explain to her the situation and see what she says. If she's uncomfortable with it, she can grab a tank-ini or a one piece. If she's fine with it, then she gets to wear her bikini.

[Wesker]

For pragmatic reasons, I would side with the girlfriend over friends. It is always good to have your girl's back.

[General_Stingray]

@T.O.W.R. I think that's probably the way I'll go...

 

I would just ask her. Explain to her the situation and see what she says. If she's uncomfortable with it, she can grab a tank-ini or a one piece. If she's fine with it, then she gets to wear her bikini.

[Buoyancy]

If you're going to be goofing around in the water, specifically the ocean, the chance of bikini top floating away is higher than that of something a little more substantial.  I do not trust bikinis. Good for tanning, useless for anything that requires moving.

Also, warn your friends so their eye balls don't pop out when they see her.

Her covering up with a t-shirt or coverup so no one stumbles is also an option. I'd talk to both parties, be open and honest and see if you as a group can come to some kind of compromise. "Well, this is how it is and there's nothing you can do" really doesn't bring unity to a friend group.

[Wesker]

If you're going to be goofing around in the water, specifically the ocean, the chance of bikini top floating away is higher than that of something a little more substantial.  I do not trust bikinis. Good for tanning, useless for anything that requires moving. 

 

 

Is this such a bad thing for him?

[Telesphore]

Is this such a bad thing for him?

*dies*

[General_Stingray]

Is this such a bad thing for him?

Lol. I don't think she'd appreciate that!

[General_Stingray]

For pragmatic reasons, I would side with the girlfriend over friends. It is always good to have your girl's back.

Good point

[Wesker]

Lol. I don't think she'd appreciate that!

 

Shouldn't your boyfriend appreciate your body?

[General_Stingray]

Yes, they (we) should. Just maybe in a slightly different way...

Shouldn't your boyfriend appreciate your body?

[Wesker]

Yes, they (we) should. Just maybe in a slightly different way...

 

I am generally making the claim that sexual attraction is a human good. It is a good thing you like your girlfriend's body. Lust is untoward sexual attraction. I do not think appreciating your girlfriend's body is untoward.

[Telesphore]

I am generally making the claim that sexual attraction is a human good. It is a good thing you like your girlfriend's body. Lust is untoward sexual attraction. I do not think appreciating your girlfriend's body is untoward.

 

Wesker, how about we not tell people how they should best regard the bodies of their women? It isn't polite :/

[kb5462]

Chat to your girlfriend about it, but ultimately, let her make up her mind  

 

If you're going to be goofing around in the water, specifically the ocean, the chance of bikini top floating away is higher than that of something a little more substantial.  I do not trust bikinis. Good for tanning, useless for anything that requires moving.

 

I don't know, it depends on the bikini, really. String bikinis, perhaps, but I've always worn bikinis and never had a problem with them going anywhere other than right where they should. 

[General_Stingray]

I get your point. Yes, she has a beautiful and physically femininely mature body (no further details on that needed). Yes, I do appreciate that. She's beautiful. 

-BUT-

I don't think your definition of "lust" is quite correct. To me, lust is any sexual attraction outside of marriage...

I am generally making the claim that sexual attraction is a human good. It is a good thing you like your girlfriend's body. Lust is untoward sexual attraction. I do not think appreciating your girlfriend's body is untoward.

Edited May 11, 2016 by General_Stingray

[Wesker]

I don't think your definition of "lust" is quite correct. To me, lust is any sexual attraction outside of marriage...

 

How do you get to marriage without sexual attraction outside of marriage? If nobody was sexually attracted to other people, there would be no drive toward sexual union, and hence there would be no marriages. Therefore, sexual attraction is essentially good.

[T.O.W.R.]

The heck people?

Calm down.

[Wesker]

I thought we were all having a perfectly calm and fruitful discussion.

[T.O.W.R.]

It's civil sure, but it went from "bikini or no bikini" to sexual attraction in marriage and as a requirement for marriage.

It just got off topic is all. (To be honest though I think it's a great discussion to be had just not in this thread.)

[ComedyMusicHistory]

Lol, this thread.

[Pointer]

I think its not your place to advise your girlfriend on how to dress. She knows how to go to the beach,  what to wear, and what the options are. By suggesting that she wear a certain style you are probably subliminally (certainly not intentionally, I'm sure) suggesting:

 

1) You're ashamed of her clothing choices and don't want your friends to judge you for how someone else dresses.

2) You're unwilling to allow her to be her.

3) You're actually kind of trying to control her through this. Controlling boyfriends are ex-boyfriends. 

4) You're not willing to defend or support her choices as her boyfriend to your friends. 

 

Recognize that you're going to the beach; there will be other people in bikinis there anyway. Anyone in your group who is liable to "stumble" due to a bikini will have that struggle by simply being at the beach. Your girlfriend will not be exclusively contributing towards that problem, therefore she cannot exclusively resolve, or be held responsible, for it. Basically unless you talk to everyone going to the beach that day, you're not going to fix this. 

[JenniferMaust]

Thats okay. I guess you should spend time alone. And you have made a plan then let her wear it. We live in a modern world now. Every other girl wears it and you should not feel weired about it.

[Amyt303]

Here is my perspective as a girl:

She isn't your wife so you can't tell her what to wear (not that you are trying to, you're being really fair about all this). I agree with the Bible verse Delores posted. Its better to be modest as a Christian. Not just because it might make boys lust, but because its more respectful to ourselves and to God. With all that said, just ask her. If you explain everything she should be reasonable Please update us!